Reply to Fired my mom as DD's caretaker

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your mom liked the idea of being a caregiver for a little kid again but the reality of it was something different all together.

Your mom just isn't interested in doing the day to day work involved with young kids.

You made the best choice for both of you. A next good step would be for your mom to move out on her own and for you to stop paying her expenses.

And lastly don't ever use the phrase "my family doesn't believe in daycare" because it sounds silly.  Do you mean that your family doesn't believe that a thing such as daycare can exist?  [/quote]

I agree with all of this, and I would add that it seems like your bias against daycare might have gotten in the way of you effectively discerning whether or not your mom would be an apt caregiver for your daughter. You list many red flags - some (like the smoking) you knew about beforehand, others (the food, for instance) might not have become clear until later. On some level, I understand the sadness and resentment you are feeling toward your mom, but I think it's important to acknowledge that you have a choice in the matter (yes, even if your family or culture "doesn't believe in daycare"). You also have a choice now: you can stay home if that feels right to you, but you can also choose to continue working and place your daughter in daycare or find a nanny share or whatever. Likewise, you can continue to have your mom live with you while paying expenses, have her live w/ you while paying rent/groceries/etc, or have her move out.

I say this gently, because it does sound like a difficult situation, but please remember that you do have agency in your life. [/quote]

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