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[quote=Anonymous]get this -- my MIL spent the first 10 YEARS identifying me, to my face and to the rest of the world as "xxx" (the ACTUAL NAME of my husbands ex-wife!  i did not break  them up. i came after. also, the ex-wife was (and still is) very mean to him. (pathologically manipulative, overly dramatic constantly, abusively judgemental and harsh, etc). she said it was habit and didn't mean it.  whatever. my SILs admit that she never liked me but that i had nothing to do with it.  she was mad at my husband for divorcing, but took it out on me, etc.  she spent the next 10 years identifying me as his "lady" or "lady friend", like i was a stripper or something.  i'm cute, but not cute enough to be a stripper.  :)  now she doesn't identify me at all.  she's old and prefers to ignore my existence.  i've never ever been mean or rude.  but i can't win because it's easier on her to blame me for her perfect son's divorce than him. (but he would have been an idiot victim to NOT get divorced). i just try to stay off the radar and be polite. at this point, my kids are old enough that they even say "grandma is mean to mom!" they kind of joke about it.  not what i ever expected as a MIL relationship, but i'm thankful for the rest of my life!  :)[/quote]

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