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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Give her the benefit of the doubt.  Cooking without any dairy is difficult and it's easy to slip up.  It's not a conspiracy.[/quote]

This, OP, this. She's from a different generation, too, where (like the person who posted above noted) they might figure that "vegetarian" means "no meat/chicken chunks in it" and don't realize that stock or soup violates the code, or that butter is not OK in a case like yours. Though it seems butter may indeed be OK. Have you checked?

OP, it sounds as if you might have other resentments about MIL because if you were OK with her,  I think you'd give her the benefit of the doubt and be a little more understanding of generational differences that can cause even a well-meaning person to slip up. Unless she is a total witch in other ways to you, she really isn't going to spend her time plotting ways to make you [i]and her own grandchild[/i] sick, is she? Really? Why the impulse to assume the worst? She probably isn't intentionally undermining you; she's likelier just not realizing the full extent of what "no dairy" means. And again -- find out if maybe that butter is OK after all.

As someone whose family has no grandmother on one side and an infirm one who is 6,000 miles away on the other side -- I would be glad to put up with working around their forgetfulness or mistakes, if I could spend time with them again. Get some perspective, OP. 
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