Reply to "Because I'm Your Mother and I Said So!"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Loosely borrowed from Blesssings of a skinned knee:

"No, you can't go to Johnny's afterschool."

"But why?"

Your reason: Because Johnny's dad is an alcoholic and I am fairly certain he isn't working today.

Your answer?

I know mine, which is "teach your kid that sometimes there will be no discussion, because some things are just too adult.  You have plenty of other opportunities to teach respect, and plenty of ways to be authoritative rather than authoritarian."

[/quote]

OP again. Thanks for this example. I think in this scenario, most of us would agree that it's OK to say something like "because it's not a good day for Johnny's family." I also wouldn't mind my child asking this, as I think it's reasonable .... he had been looking forward to playing with his friend, and now he can't go.

I'm talking more about things like:  "Edgar, put your shoes on. It's time to leave for school."   "WHY SHOULD I?" !!![/quote]

Do you praise, thank, or reward good behavior? Do you thank him for getting out the door on time when he does do it? If one particular thing is a problem, like getting out the door in the mornings, use a rewards sticker chart. On time all week? He gets to pick dinner or something. I find "that" works far better in the long run than anything.

Sometimes they get fussy that way because every single aspect of their life is controlled and they are constantly being told what to do. If you think that's happening, try to find some things he can be in control of.

It might also be he just wants your attention. Some kids seek attention, be it good or bad. If you've been crazy busy, is there a way to set a little more kid time aside? If that's not it, I'd again ramp up on rewarding positive behavior. They want your attention and much prefer positive attention, like a hug for helping in the morning. Absent that feedback though, they will seek negative attention, too.

Be consistent though never cave on bedtimes or taking dishes to the kitchen. Give a little and they never look back?[/quote]

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