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[quote=Anonymous]1) his hygiene could be better and, unlike me, he has gained weight after kids and doesn't work out. I am desperate to work out  more than I do, but I rarely have a free morning or night so squeeze it in when I can. 
2) he makes no effort to seduce. his 'foreplay' is reaching over and sticking his hand under my shirt in bed, no mental seduction, no romance, no playfulness, no massages, no exploration of my (rather nice) body. the last time we had sex 'foreplay' was under 2 minutes and then he was sticking it in.  
3) he is a rather boring, vanilla lover. he has shot down or never acted on any of my requests/fantasies, so sex is basically missionary with lights off. I have, or used to have, a more experimental streak, but have gotten rejected or ignored so many times that i feel too alone about this to act on it any more. 
4) he is a great dad, but not an equal partner in other ways. I pull the weight, run the house, make the decisions, execute the tasks, take care of dinner, bills, plans, cleaning, kids, etc. At least he could fucking take charge in bed--that is what I've asked. Take charge, take me, be a man! seduce me, thrill me, run your hands down  my back, whisper how much you'd love to do XYZ to me.  But don't just roll over and stick a cold hand under my shirt and wonder if that's going to work and wonder why I am stifling a yawn. 
5) all that being said, I do not turn DH down, because I am not interested in making things worse and want to maintain our marriage/family/household.  I just don't initiate and feel that my sexual side is hibernation. I wonder if when our kids get older we can deal with it, or I leave, or take a lover, or open the marriage...I don't know. for the moment, I just put it aside.

Here's the thing that really gets me.  We are generally a compatible cople, with our issues. DH  seems to find me attractive, and I love sex. It would not be that hard for us to have banging hot sex! I would like DH to occasionally make an effort--cook dinner maybe once every couple weeks, run once or twice a week, brush his goddam teeth, and then take charge---whisper to me that he wants to do me six ways until sunday...and then do it! [/quote]

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