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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You said you weren't going to her house.  She abided by your wishes that she celebrate with your family at your house.  But, she didn't want to cancel her own traditional celebration.  I am not sure why you thought she should or why you would be upset that she didn't cancel her traditional celebration just because you didn't plan on showing up.  I don't think you have any grounds to be pissed about that.  [/quote]

I don't get it OP. She did everything you asked and you are pissed she didn't replace her traditional dinner with yours?

She sounds like an awesome MIL. I don't get what you are upset about.[/quote]

No.  She said she would host her usual Xmas Eve buffet here.  Instead, she hosted her usual one at home but took over my house earlier in the day to host a pretend one here before gathering up everyone but us to bring them down to her place afterward.  They left about 4 hours earlier than their traditional Xmas Eve celebration would end.

Then even though she knew I was cooking a traditional Christmas dinner and had not made Christmas dinner herself in many years, she decided this was the year to have one, not telling us until they were leaving our place early Christmas Eve.  Actually, she never told us any of this.  My BIL just cringed and apologized for having to back out of our dinner b/c his mother expected him at hers.

You can't see how it would be hurtful to my husband to think that his traditional family get-together was happening at is own house this year only to have everyone leave 4 hours early to go to the actual celebration which no one told him about until they were leaving?  And that his wife is cooking a Chiristmas dinner to which his while family has been invited and then he finds out as they're leaving that no one is coming because his mother decided to host a "competing" dinner - not a tradition, a new thing - guaranteeing no one else in his family would come to his house on Christmas Day?  It's weird, passive aggressive, controlling stuff.  Not awesome.[/quote]
OP, you wanted an entire family to change their tradition to suit you.
They accommodated, to a point. There was nothing fake about the meal at your house unless they were eating pretend food.
Yes, they should have communicated up front that they were still having a celebration at mom's house.
I get it, I hate,hate,hate smoke. I would not want to smell it, smell like it, or have my baby breathe it.
But really it is time to get over yourself. You wanted them to change what they usually do, you just don't the way they did it.
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