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[quote=Anonymous]My mom is paranoid schizophrenic. I was very wary of her from an early age and have a lot of early life memories probably because of being hypervigilant around her all the time. I knew it was MI by about 6 or 7.

The best day for me was when we no longer lived with her. the daily stress is impossible to describe. you do not know what you will find at home or what the day will bring to such an extreme degree, and many times I feared she would kill us. So I think the most important thing you have already done is to break up and have primary custody. This will make a significant difference every day for your child.

I saw a counselor about my mom during the teen years and that was helpful mainly for helping me learn not to fear confronting issues with honesty to myself, and being able to voice things. From there, a journal helped the most.

While I am aware that a mother/daughter relationship is something I will never know from the daughter side, being a mom is a wonderful revelation to me on an earthshaking level, I think because of the scorched earth experience. Definitely now experience even religious levels of gratitude and appreciation for being able to be a mom. I'm sharing that to show there can be a positive harvest, so to speak. I wouldn't choose these experiences, but good things can eventuate despite how bad it all was. And omg was it bad.[/quote]

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