Reply to Is there an easy way to pull off the band aid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't wait, OP. It can be much harder to witness a toxic marriage throughout HS and then discover you don't have "home" to return to right when beginning college than to adjust to divorced parents (who are happier) at 15.[/quote]

The main advice I can give from my parents divorce is you need to be there for your daughter. Yes, you deserve a chance at happiness but I'm telling you now if your wife has primary custody and you get a new girlfriend quickly it will seems like you moved on from both wife and daughter.   This is the time your daughter is probably getting ready to dip her toe in the dating world and you don't want her feeling abandoned, betrayed, like she couldn't depend on the one guy that should have been there for her. I don't know if courts still do joint custody when the kids are older but from what I can see it is important that you are involved as a parent ...there is so little time that kids want to spend with their parents as  teenager that if you only have something like one day a week or weekends or only summers it will be tough to stay close. It may only be breakfast, dinner, and when she isn't chatting with friends that she had time for you so it is important you have enough of those times.

Also, the obvious things of not bad mouthing the mom and don't put the kid in the middle of the marital problems.  You and soon to be ex still have to co-parent and post high school still need to co-exist.

So get your ducks in a row about divorce especially with custody and rip the band aid off.[/quote]

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