Reply to Pressure from estranged grandparents wanting contact with grandkids and me

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[quote=Anonymous]Hey OP -

I can relate. I'm the poster with the abusive mom, first time grandma thread from last week.  We haven't spoken at all since I drew the line and I'm cool with that.

I think we are in a very similar place - another poster mentioned "moving on" from the past, but still there's that nagging voice inside that wonders if you're overreacting, depriving your kids, etc.

To me, I'd echo the posters who said proceed with caution. If your parents are still trying to make it sound like you were the one with the issues, then they probably haven't reflected on anything. Which means it will only be a matter of time before they are who you remember them to be.

I think for me it comes down to a question of benefit - what would your family get from your association with them? Be very honest with yourself here. The bad will come to mind quickly - can you remember any good? Traditions you may want to preserve?

For me, the costs outweighed the benefits. I do not like the person my mother is, and our interactions escalate quickly.  And while there are some good things about her I would like my child exposed to, her disregard for others, abusive and impatient nature, and disrespect for me makes me think I'd be doing my child a disservice.

But in the end, it's all your call here. The good thing about being an independent adult is being able to make your own decisions and design your own life.

What actions will bring you happiness? That's the only real question here.[/quote]

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