Reply to Punishment doesn't seem to phase this kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I used to lie to my mom for the same reasons many pps are telling you.  Telling her the truth was scary.  I'd get disciplined, get things taken away, had to deal with my mom's disappointment, etc.  Much easier to lie.  You also mention that her sister found the unfinished homework in the trash and told you.  is the other sister better behaved,  does better in school, has screen time, etc?  Your daughter may have realized that she is the screw up kid, so why bother?   I also had a perfect brother.   I am also adopted and used to think "I'm such a screw up, they probably regret adopting me."

your post makes me so sad.  I recognize myself as your daughter and you as my mom.   She was so resistant to the fact that she waa doing things to make the dynamic worse, that it took years for us to have any kind of trusting and close relationship.    I hope you will re read these posts and think about them rather than being dismissive.[/quote]

Yes, her older sibling is only 4 months older and a straight A student with printer quality handwriting. We try so hard not to compare her to her sister. We never say stuff like "Your sister never does that" or "Why can't you be like sister?" We have known since they were infants that one would always be more advanced than the other. Funny thing is sister who is so "perfect" is extremely shy around anybody else except family while this little girl is a social butterfly always flitting about. Kind of neat how they seem to make up for the shortcomings of each other. And the next set of siblings are 19 years apart in age so not much comparison there.  With this little girl I've known almost from day one(she came home at 7 months after spending her first months of life in an institution) that she was different, that she would struggle- you know how a mother just knows these things? She was slow on all her early childhood benchmarks and had and still has some sensory integration issues. All this has made me want to protect her all that more. I can't even begin to understand how difficult it must be for parents of handicapped children to NOT coddle and hover over their children.

I think what I will do about the chips is let her have a reasonable amt of chips as snack two days a week after school if the other days are fresh fruit and let her decide and keep track.

Not sure what else I can do but I'm always open for suggestions,  thanks all[/quote]

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