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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This girl has repeated 1 grade and had to go to summer school every summer since 3rd grade so I would not let her fail anything. I don't think that would phase her really.

I'll tell you my biggest fear. She will hit middle school next year and I don't want her to be one of those young teens who gets her positive reinforcement from attention from boys. Middle school can be a mine field for the best of students but I fear a girl not having positive experience academically might be too much under the influence of boys. We had an epiphany this summer. I realized she would never be an academic standout like all her siblings so we had to find other areas to give her confidence. She loves to cook and bake so we encourage that. She loves to run so we are hoping she can take track in middle school. She's not much for sports and wanted to drop out of ballet after only l season. fine. I won't force her. I'm constantly looking for ways to praise her. Still she has to do her homework and she has to study. I just can't let it slide and I don't think she wants to let it slide. She likes to read comic books which we had trouble with but were told by educators that comics are fine. OK. Now I have asked her to make her own comic books. fun for awhile.lost interest. 
we will keep trying. she is definitely worth it. whatever it takes.
[/quote]

No one is questioning your love for your daughter but if you read all the posts here you've got to be picking up on the unusual (for DCUM) agreement that your approach isn't going to work.  You already know this which is why you posted in the first place, yet you are backpedaling and being defensive.  Go back and read these posts with a more open mind.  Many of us have struggled with our children and have learned a few things in the process.

Lets start with academics.  Your DD has a learning disability.  My sense is that it hasn't been fully diagnosed (again, have you had her screened for ADHD?).  This idea that if you change your approach you "will let her fail" is just wrong.  She fails because the school isn't meeting her needs.  Let me say that again: the school isn't meeting her needs.  This idea that you are responsible for her grades is just wrong and destructive.  And you are actually undermining her education because you are shielding her teachers from her struggles.  They can't address her needs if you are haphazardly trying, and failing, to address them at home.

You need to take all that energy and become her advocate.  Get a proper and thorough evaluation so you can better address her needs.  And then seek the appropriate supports at school.  If you don't do these things, get her the supports that will allow her to thrive, then, yes, you are letting her fail.  And if you've done this and she's still struggling you need to advocate even more.  I suggest you post in the SN section for more specific advice.

Finally, why did you turn her love of comics into a bad thing by telling her to make her own?  She had this one thing that she enjoyed (and I agree with her teachers -- as long as she is reading, it shouldn't matter what.  In fact, comics have become quite sophisticated.)  and you made it a burden.  What I see is that she has high achieving siblings and while you say you've changed your expectations, you really haven't completely.  She likes to read comics?  OK, we'll turn her into a comic book creator!

This kid needs some space in which to breath and relax.  I read your posts and i want to come over to your house with a stack of comic books and a giant bag of potato chips.  Please lay down your defensiveness and read what we've written here.[/quote]

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