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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am sorry about your parents.  I really am.  They sound horrible and to have had your trust abused by people who are supposed to care for you is really difficult.

However, your sense of how horrible your parents are (which is likely correct) has inured you to realizing that not all other parents are gods gift.  They don't all come rushing to help you.

I think your DH is being unreasonable to expect that you should have your mom back in your life just to help with the baby.  But you are also being unreasonable to expect his parents to step up.  They have other priorities in life and frankly don't feel up to the task of caring for a newborn and toddler.  That's not unreasonable.  They are older, and from what you say have been sick.  They are being honest that they can't do it.  Believe them and don't resent them.

you and your DH both need to agree that neither MIL is coming and figure out how to get you what you need.  You may need a helper for a few hours a day while your husband is at work, or all day if you can afford it, for a month or so until you are feeling physically able.  Shell out the money.  It's well worth it and you will be fine.  If you can't afford it, now is the time to call on your friends for help when they can with the promise that you will return it later.

We all figure out how to deal in this world.  You also need to dial down the drama -- it is not true that your in laws don't care about their grandchild.  They just admit honestly that they cannot babysit for him or her.

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