Reply to Enjoy the present. If things go the way you fear, we'll deal with it then. (A vent)

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Reply to "Enjoy the present. If things go the way you fear, we'll deal with it then. (A vent)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP--has he really not had a drink in a few weeks? If so, that is great. No sneaking?

My DH won't admit to any problem (except for me being a bitch about him drinking-that is the problem in his mind).
I'm pretty sure he drinks every night. Sometimes after everyone else goes to bed. He goes to the garage to drink. I know-all pretty clear signs. 
Not sure what to do but I admire that you took a stand and made progress happen. 
I can't imagine my dh going a whole week without a drink...[/quote]

No sneaking as far as I know.  Since there is only one bottle of booze in the house (that I know of - which I realize is a huge caveat), it is pretty easy to check.

Believe me, don't be too impressed.  This is not my first time down this path.  It is the first time I involved his parents (his sister did know the last time things got really bad).  It isn't the first time I instituted I drinking ban, although the last one three years ago (that failed after a few months) was only we couldn't drink in the house at all.  This was the first time I told him I htought he had a problem with alcohol that he needed outside help with.  He denied it all but somehow has kept the ban.  It is now starting to chafe at him (as it did last time; since he could not get hammered outside the house and then drive home, it was about how he didn't want to even have one drink outside the house and drive so I HAD to let him drink in the house).  The drinking by himself and not as a social activity, not even with me is a huge red flag.  Sounds like you have the same flag flying at your house.

Part of what gave me the push to talk to his parents this time was that we went away for the weekend for a social thing.  I had told him I thought we shouldn't drink but when we got there a good friend of his offered to buy us a drink and I stupidly agreed (I guess I wanted to be "normal"), so he got his usual hard liquor and I got a glass of wine.  Then he had another.  Then when I woke up the next morning I also saw the empties from the minibar he drank after I went to sleep.  I don't know what it was, but something about that just hit me.  And I went home and told his mother all about it.  We went from there.  Someday you, too, will have a sign that it is time to try another step.  I hope you get good advice.  I have seen recommendations for people specialized in addiction on here that have guided other people who had alcoholic spouses, so I hope you find someone good.  I may change therapists as well.  Good luck to you, too.  I'll be rooting for you and hoping somehow your path is an easier one, although there doesn't seem to be anything easy about a spouse with an alcohol problem.[/quote]

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