Reply to How to handle marriage where kid duty for medical appts is very uneven?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Things can't be fair and you can't keep score. You need to focus on the greater good of the family. [/quote]

Both parents need to do this.  IME, it is difficult for both parents to have fulltime bigtime careers and have typical healthy children with out major outside support.  Some people rely on family, some hire a higher level nanny, some end up sacrificing one of the careers for a more family freindly one or sah for a while.  When you add a child that has more needs than the average- it is even harder.

The options are for your DH to find a less stressful and time consuming job that is more family friendly, for you (OP) to pick up the slack, or for you (plural) to hire it out - or hire out other things so you can do the DRs visits.  Things you can hire out easily: lawncare, house cleaning, taking kids to after school activities/tutors/therapies, cooking, grocery shopping.  (If you get paid the big bucks, sometimes you need to spend the big bucks to get time with family)

Is your DC's condition likely to be this way for the foreseeable future or is it a temporary two to three year issue?  
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OP here.  Thanks for your comments (thanks for everyone's comments, even the ones telling me to stop being such a baby).  Btw, I did say in my original post that I was becoming slightly resentful-not outright pissed or holding a grudge.  Just that I could feel this coming on and wanted to nip it in the bud.  I'm not going on a rampage or anything- I know I have an immature tendency to become a little resentful and I'm trying to keep it in check.

We actually don't make enough money for either of us to feel comfortable outsourcing cleaning, etc.  DH's promotion was the kind that is a big change in title, but not in money (at least for now- will pick up some in the future though).

DS has a multitude of issues that we don't forsee him growing out of.  Like I said, he can be fine for awhile, then all of a sudden fall to pieces, necessitating a flurry of appts left and right.

I did appreciate the poster who said she thought it was imperative that one parent become the medical expert.  My only issue is that one of DS' issues is a severe allergy to peanuts and treenuts.  I'm the one who researched allergists, took him to all his tests, etc., which I'm fine with. What I'm not fine with is that b/c DH doesn't go to the appts, he doesn't listen to the allergist talk about how it's important to do x,y, and z or to avoid A, B, and C.  So DH then doesn't understand the severity of it and doesn't read labels or thinks it's ok to take DS to a bakery.  But, that really is a separate issue and nothing to do with this thread  :wink:[/quote]

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