Reply to If you had Cancer How much help would you expect from you SO

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP was he holding down the fort at home, looking after the kids, cooking meals, running the household, working full time?

If he was doing all that he may have thought he was being very supportive.

It is important to realize that he is human too, and has limits and vulnerabilities and not everyone becomes superman/woman when their souse gets sick. Some just plug along as mere mortals trying to keep everything together and managing as best they could. Having a spouse with cancer can also take a huge toll on the carer's mental health yet they can't say anything or ever complain or be depressed, anxious etc because well...you have cancer and that trumps all. They have to be strong for you, there for you,and put their own needs aside. Sure some people could take over all the household and childcare responsibilities, and still work full time and make to everyone of your appointments, and know when you need them to hold your hand and anticipate your very need and meet it before you ask, but not being able to be THAT person doesn't mean he wasn't supportive.

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No he was not running the household.  I still was until I was I finally broke down and then he sent for my parents, who I don't like to accept help from.  His job always came first.  The kids had spring break, I couldn't drive due to all the chemo my brain was in a fog like I was intoxicated.  I was scared to watch them but he said I could handle it.  I did.   He would watch them at night and put them to bed.  But if he could have someone else help me during the day he would gladly accept.  I did not expect him at every appointment I just wanted him to take some time off for me.  It was always felt like a burden if he couldn't get to work.[/quote]

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