Reply to Sexual Frustration as Romantic Motivation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]
She might start out just kind of going along with it; but very often, if we get started, she gets into it. Probably I just need to stop over thinking it; go for it if I want to have sex with her, and if she says "no"; be pleasant about it, and go off and find other entertainments. 
[/quote]

I remember reading something a couple of years ago - wish I could find it, but it was a legit source - that said this is extremely common with women over a certain age (probably 35 or 40). They just need some time to get into it, and then they're good.

Unfortunately, it's one of those things nobody ever talks about even though it is totally normal. So we all rush to assume "no sex drive" or "I never want it" instead of giving ourselves (or our spouses) a chance.

Anyway. My husband has a lot of success with a slow build up...he can stroke my arm gently while we're watching TV, or kiss my neck a little bit. Ease me into it, before I even realize it, I'm ready to go. I never even have to ask myself if I want to have sex - clearly I do, and the logistics that sometimes get in the way (I have laundry/cleaning/work to do!) just sort of melt away. DH also has a lot of success when he's really worked up and behaves assertively; it's attractive that he finds me that attractive.

What almost never works is him asking if I want to go to the bedroom and have sex. If I have the chance to think on it too long, I'll start thinking about all the other shit I have to do, or I'll feel like I have to turn the switch instantly from off to on.[/quote]

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