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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's probably hard for you to see, even as an adult now, that it was terribly inappropriate behavior on his part. If I found a college aged boy in my 9 yr old DD's bed, you bet I would kick him out! You are still looking at it from your 9 yr old self's mind. However, it is up to you how you want to proceed with him - any kind of relationship or not. You are an adult now. But try to understand where your parents were coming from back then.[/quote]

NP here - very wise statement.[/quote]

+2. This man's behavior was extremely inappropriate. You may not have been sexually abused, but convincing your parents otherwise is a losing proposition - if anything, I would validate their perspective re: protecting you. They absolutely did the right thing by kicking the man out.

Secondly, [b]I am not sure why you want to have a relationship with him now[/b]. There are enough red flags that I would stay away and keep my children away. [/quote]

OP, you haven't answered this: why do you even want a relationship w/ him? This doesn't sound great: he "tends to not have great boundaries," " He is kind of a touchy-feely person and I have seen him kind of make people uncomfortable," "they found him in my bed in his underwear"[/quote]

Because overall he is a great guy and I like his whole family. His kids love him, and I don't know of anyone that finds him creepy. He just has a lot of energy and doesn't always know when to stop,and that at times gets on peoples nerves. He is not a reserved person, and can be impulsive but he isn't defined by those characteristics - there are many other great characteristics that he has. The being in my bed incident happened probably 30 years ago and as I said he was telling me a story - so I don't really have a creepy vibe form that. Also when I was younger my little nieces and nephews stayed over and in the morning they came and jumped into my bed. There was nothing inappropriate or sexual about it so I guess I don't necessarily have the same immediate connection that an adult and child in the same bed immediately means something sexual happened. I don't really see him often, we aren't really close but we do keep in touch. [/quote]

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