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[quote=Anonymous]OK. Everyone calm the f*** down.

OP: I think what you are really asking yourself is what exactly you are dealing with here.

Since you mention the cursing, it seems like this is a relatively new issue. I say this because it seems to stand out that it is occurring during arguments with you, in fact every argument.

I have a DH who developed this nasty habit well into our marriage. It was bewildering and very hurtful. He would apologize, but it would happen again and again.And. Again.

The readers digest version: Yes, he has anger issues, but they developed into the cussing at me and _personalizing_ his anger as a result of depression.

NOw he is on antidepressants and its a different dynamic altogether. However, it went on so long and we went in and out of therapy without the proper diagnosis that I am now probably too fed up to recover. There are other issues too.

You asked the wrong question of the judgemental and misguided individuals on this list. This isnt about cussing, this is about what the cussing means in this particular context.

I think even if he didnt cuss at you, he would still have a severe anger problem. The cussing is a symptom and not a cause. So......lets all focus on the anger issue here.

When you married, did he have an anger problem? Was it always focused on you or did it turn into that? That is the pattern often experienced with this issue: it starts out general and turns personal. It sucks and it is unacceptable.

Yet, there you are having to figure it out.

Will he go to therapy? Clearly that is needed here- he needs to clear the air appropriately at the very least.[/quote]

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