If my husband ever called me a curse word I would be so stunned it would make me forget what we were fighting about in the first place. But we never use curse words in any context. Well, I do say the "f" and "s" words in my mind, but never out loud and never in reference to him.

I think zero cursing is the only acceptable option, especially if there are children around.

Anonymous wrote:Anger issues aside (these are important!), life must be pretty easy if cursing is such a source of marital stress. Really, someone would divorce over being called a name in the heat of an argument?

Ok, I'll step back now and you can all take your shots at the shitty fucking asshole man.

My husband called me fat and the C word for years. Every time we got in an argument. We are actually both professionals, i'm not fat, but he knew it would upset me. He never quite understood the difference between saying "f you" to someone in an argument (I'll admit I've gone there) and the personal, constant, and degrading insults that cross the line. It actually made me grow to hate him and two years in therapy and there are days when I still hate him for it.

Never acceptable.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

I'm the OP of what you quoted. I don't understand what is bogus. If you don't like cursing in your home, that's one thing. However, trying to tell a man who is constantly cussed AT and works in an environment such as law enforcement to NOT swear at all when he comes home is unrealistic. In marriage, you can't control it all. I don't tolerate it around the children but I am an adult and so is he. I don't see the big deal in compromising!

Only for you. I know cops who don't swear at all. You both sound like trash.

But you calling anonymous strangers on the internet trashy based on one paragraph they wrote... that's the epitome of class?

Would you rather I say it in a way you can understand? You're both fuckin' trash.

Not PP but wow. Just wow. I think you have some soul searching to do. You are clearly not as good a person as you think you are. What you said is just plain nasty and trashier than a random curse word.

+10000000000000000000000000

OK. Everyone calm the f*** down.

OP: I think what you are really asking yourself is what exactly you are dealing with here.

Since you mention the cursing, it seems like this is a relatively new issue. I say this because it seems to stand out that it is occurring during arguments with you, in fact every argument.

I have a DH who developed this nasty habit well into our marriage. It was bewildering and very hurtful. He would apologize, but it would happen again and again.And. Again.

The readers digest version: Yes, he has anger issues, but they developed into the cussing at me and _personalizing_ his anger as a result of depression.

NOw he is on antidepressants and its a different dynamic altogether. However, it went on so long and we went in and out of therapy without the proper diagnosis that I am now probably too fed up to recover. There are other issues too.

You asked the wrong question of the judgemental and misguided individuals on this list. This isnt about cussing, this is about what the cussing means in this particular context.

I think even if he didnt cuss at you, he would still have a severe anger problem. The cussing is a symptom and not a cause. So......lets all focus on the anger issue here.

When you married, did he have an anger problem? Was it always focused on you or did it turn into that? That is the pattern often experienced with this issue: it starts out general and turns personal. It sucks and it is unacceptable.

Yet, there you are having to figure it out.

Will he go to therapy? Clearly that is needed here- he needs to clear the air appropriately at the very least.

Under no circumstances would I tolerate being called the c-word. Being called ANY names by your spouse is a huge red flag. That is not an acceptable way to fight and is incredibly disrespectful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

I'm the OP of what you quoted. I don't understand what is bogus. If you don't like cursing in your home, that's one thing. However, trying to tell a man who is constantly cussed AT and works in an environment such as law enforcement to NOT swear at all when he comes home is unrealistic. In marriage, you can't control it all. I don't tolerate it around the children but I am an adult and so is he. I don't see the big deal in compromising!

Only for you. I know cops who don't swear at all. You both sound like trash.

But you calling anonymous strangers on the internet trashy based on one paragraph they wrote... that's the epitome of class?

Would you rather I say it in a way you can understand? You're both fuckin' trash.

Get therapy, dear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Only for you. I know cops who don't swear at all. You both sound like trash.

But you calling anonymous strangers on the internet trashy based on one paragraph they wrote... that's the epitome of class?

Would you rather I say it in a way you can understand? You're both fuckin' trash.

Holy irony!

I tolerate cursing. It honestly doesn't bother me. Name calling brings an immediate and harsh response. It's probably harsher than it should be, because it doesn't usually happen more than once or twice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won't tolerate being called a bitch. However, my husband works in law enforcement and curses like a sailor. He doesn't do it around the children but when it's just us, he can let out damn, shit and sometimes the f word. Again, as long as he isn't cussing AT me, I'm good.

Bogus excuse for swearing.

I'm the OP of what you quoted. I don't understand what is bogus. If you don't like cursing in your home, that's one thing. However, trying to tell a man who is constantly cussed AT and works in an environment such as law enforcement to NOT swear at all when he comes home is unrealistic. In marriage, you can't control it all. I don't tolerate it around the children but I am an adult and so is he. I don't see the big deal in compromising!

Only for you. I know cops who don't swear at all. You both sound like trash.

But you calling anonymous strangers on the internet trashy based on one paragraph they wrote... that's the epitome of class?

Would you rather I say it in a way you can understand? You're both fuckin' trash.

Not PP but wow. Just wow. I think you have some soul searching to do. You are clearly not as good a person as you think you are. What you said is just plain nasty and trashier than a random curse word.