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[quote=Anonymous]New poster here:

I have had a hard time appreciating my husband as well. I went through this time in our marriage (and still find myself in that very same place often) where I expected my husband to meet me in the middle with the kids, the house and everything in between. There is a huge difference, however, in our family life. My husband works 80 hours a week and I stay at home. It isn't feasible or realistic to expect that my husband pull the same weight that I am.

I had to take a step back-- MANY steps back. I had make myself look at the things that my husband DOES do that I don't see on a daily basis. My husband wakes up before the sun and goes to work. He comes home to a dark house since he works so long. My husband carries the weight of all of our finances on his shoulders alone. It is solely because of HIS hard work outside of our home that I attend MOPS groups, chaperon field trips for our children, go out to lunch with friends after preschool-- all while driving a new car and coming home to a warm house and a roof over my head.

Even when my husband DOES come home, say it's before bed time for the kids, he isn't always in the floor tickling them and playing. Say he comes home at dinner time and  I am serving the kids dinner. He immediately jumps in to help me. Then he'll sit down and I will make his plate. After dinner, he isn't scrubbing the floor or wiping down counters or washing dishes, he's relaxing on the sofa with one of the kids or maybe by himself. Why isn't he doing more you may ask? In my honest opinion, working 80 hours a week = time to relax.

I am sure there are things that your husband does do but you are too wrapped up in focusing on everything that he doesn't. I recently took a bible study which revolved around marriage and child raising. The speaker said this, "If you focus too much on who your spouse is not, you will miss who he is". I was convicted. I decided to throw out the person I thought my husband should be and be thankful for the husband that I have.

And, you know what? Sometimes you'll find me with multiple children outside cutting the grass FOR my husband. Some say he gets off too easy-- I say, serving my husband (not in every way but most) is my job as his wife. Oh and by the way, a husband that works, like you say yours does, and brings home the bacon is wonderful. Some men won't even do that![/quote]

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