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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was the wife in this situation and I didn't sleep with the guy. I was having fun and the fun went further than it should have in terms of flirting over drinks after work. I'm extremely thankful for my trusting and generous husband who understood I fucked up and didn't judge me to be a lying slut, but took it for the stupid selfish mistake I made. [/quote]

HA!!!  You already went too far when you agreed to 1.) meet and 2.) have drinks.  You also went too far earlier before you did 1 and 2.  You've been flirting before this at work to even lead up to this.  Had your trusting and generous husband not talk to you, you'd be posting how awesome it was to be pounded by another man outside your marriage.

He may not have judged you.  But you need to take a long hard look at yourself.  You could have lost everything. You still may.  These things dont just go away.  It'll resurface and you need to be prepared to deal with the aftermath. [/quote]

Firstly, I never denied I went too far. That's exactly my point. That I did. Secondly, it was me who brought it all up with my husband. I was the one who put a break on things and decided to come clean with DH. Thirdly, even if I was pounded in the most satanically yet heavenly way by the hottest fucking guy on earth, I would never share it with you or anyone else on this forum. Fourthly, I did take a long hard look at myself. That was why I brought it up with DH. I was aware that I could have lost everything, even though nothing ever happened. And DH and I have moved on in a very positive manner. We both learned from the situation in ways that improved our relationship.

And let's face it - the discussion on this forum about whether you can be attracted to other people while being married and in love with someone, is like the discussion about god and atheism. There are those who completely believe things to be one way and believe it should be that way for everyone else just because that's what they believe. So yeah, if you have ever flirted or felt some kind of attraction for someone who is not your partner, than you're a selfish pig who doesn't even know what love is and can only think about banging everything that walks. [/quote]

In response to you, I am super attracted to my DW.  I don't do things at work that would lead to the idea that meeting for drinks would be a good idea.  Yes, I am friendly, and I am affable to women who aren't not my wife.  What do I do when there is an attractive women, like my my DW's colleague?   Why, I treat her with respect and kindness.  That's it.  I don't make things suggestive.  My wife is so trusting, she leaves us alone in the house, etc etc etc. Yes, she is very attractive, but I am respectful and dont discuss things that are "flirty."  Like I won't say, "you are looking very good these days..." or anything like that.  It is because I respect my relationship.  All my interactions could be video recorded and I wouldnt worry one bit.

You bringing this up to DH is also a selfish act....if you think about it.  Why make him suffer through this burden?  Why don't you just clean up your mess and move on?  Oh yeah you didn't because it was "soul cleansing," to confess to your sins.  Fuck that.  Fix it instead of just building up resentment. You should have fixed this mess you made on your own, take some time off to reflect, and then rebuild a relationship with your DH.  Instead, you chose to cleanse yourself of your guilt by telling him. Now he has to live with it.  If you ever care about your looks, no matter how innocent, he'll always wonder.  That is the price you will have to pay. Have to travel for work?  Same thing.  Company party with said co-worker?  Same thing.

The common thread of behavior is that you are selfish.  Just recognize it and fix it. [/quote]

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