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[quote=Anonymous]Op, I would personally not hold out much hope for a transformation by MIL here.

DH and I are in the same boat. His younger sister had her kid first and she is herself clearly the favored child- but its more than standard favoritism. Anyway, this now extends to the children. Our lovely creative Daughter is constantly being examined for flaws in every way except her appearance (she is really beautiul so we hear alot about how really beautiful she is. Of course we care about the inner beauty which is far greater yet, but we dont hear about that at all).

Meanwhile SIL's son who barely makes eye contact or talks, and is an underweight supercompliant child is adored as if nothing wrong could ever come from his or the wonderful parenting he receives.

However, dont be fooled. I know SIL is in fact also constantly being criticized by her mom. The difference is, she uses the negative comparisons to make herself look and feel better about herself.And then she feels really quite ok herself about criticizing and comparing OUR kids when she doesnt know shit about my kid. She has spent a grand total of three short visits with her spaced about a year apart.

On one hand this comparison business is silly bs, on the other, its quite serious. This kind of constant criticism and the _tenacity of the search for opportunities to be disapproving_  is really not a health thing and I propose you find ways to remove your child from being around that as much as possible.

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