Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:HELP! I'm a MIL!
I can see what everyone is talking about. Sometimes I find myself talking to one of my kids about the other....including kids....and I think I come accross as comparing them. My intention is for them to be informed about each other....they are all so busy!
Please, if anyone has advice as to not come accross as comparing or judgemental....please let me know. I love them ALL so much!
my MIL constantly talks about everyone else and says 'she is just trying to keep everyone informed'. to me, keeping everyone else informed about things that do not involve them is also known as gossip.
I'll second this. Why not just focus on the people you're with?
I love my MIL but sometimes it feels like she's forcing our relationships with other family members. The strangest part, to me, is that DH's family is small (1 sibling, who is married, and one grandparent), so it's not like we have soooo much to catch up on (I come from a much larger family and have never known all my cousins birthdays by heart- and that was okay, since they didn't know mine either). Reminders for birthdays are one thing, reminding us to send a gift when we've agreed with BIL and SIL that we won't share gifts among us? Too far. I can't help but think that a lot of the older generation's need to keep those extended family relationships close is because they cannot deal with the changing family dynamics that happen once people have their own kids and the family of origin isn't the tightest bond anymore.
All that said, you clearly want to do the right thing. Hopefully your DILs see your good intentions.