Reply to IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?

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Reply to "IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

The therapist is new. I have seen her two times, DH has seen her once and we saw her once together.

From all of these meetings she culled together the possibiliy that the behaviors as described by the BPD diagnosis might be a useful guideline to identifying possible causes for certain specific behaviors.

She said the BPD diagnosis has been discredited, that it may in fact NOT be correct, that it is treatable IF it is the case AND the person with is accepts themselves as being OK for who they are, but understanding that they need to change their responses and behaviors to things by rethining assumptions, etc.

She didnt think it was the end of the relationship. She did say I would ultimately, regardless of the diagnosis, have to decide what to do and if I could do whatever needs to be done. She also said I would not have to do "more" but rather just understand that DH is not a bad person but may lack some very basic things to his sense of self leading to responses to things where he really does not know what to do.

As a person who has been the only one in the marriage to ever seek and find counseling for us, and as the only one who has ever done any leg work in finding help, researching things, and so on, I could simply not stand being told by anyone on this list that I am looking for a way out.

What I AM looking for is ANY person who HAS ACTUALLHY BEEN OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED or is MARRIED to someone who has. I donrt need a lot of conjecture on my therapist or what have you.  She cant make me think any thing. I am looking for a person or persons who actually have DIRECT EXPERIENCE with this diagnosis.

And no, none of the posters here know everything. I told the therapist everything. So its not exactly a shocker that she would have some different ideas, having actually been trained to look for these kinds of things, than anyone here, who does NOT know everything and who may or may NOT have been trained.

Lets not put my therapist on trial. I am not married to her. I am not even putting my husband on trial. I am asking a simple question:

ANYONE actually had this diagnosis of themselves or their spouse.

Please advise based on that.[/quote]

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