Reply to help remind me about being patient and understanding with husbands depression

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, how was your birthday? Did you do something special for yourself, at least?

The thing that is the hardest for me about being married to someone who is chronically depressed is that no matter what happens to you, it's NEVER as bad as whatever is going on with them. I had one of the worst days of my entire life earlier this week and H basically told me, "I know you need me to be supportive and comforting, but I am just not able to give you that right now, because I have the worst day of my life every day". Then he suggested that maybe we should just not talk to each other at all for the rest of the day. When I told him that I was really upset and that his dismissiveness really hurt me, his response was, "Well, I was hurt too."

H is 40, underemployed, applying for new jobs and not getting calls, has chronic back pain. When he's feeling good, he's the most amazing man I've ever met in my life. I would estimate that his "good" days at this point occur maybe 3-4/month.[/quote]

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