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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "help remind me about being patient and understanding with husbands depression"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Happy 45th Birthday Today OP!![/b] :lol: So sorry you are going through this. I hate to say this, but you are being an enabler to your husband. I understand that if you didn't do certain things for him, then by all means, nothing would get done, but as long as you keep doing these things for him, he will never do them for himself. He is a grown man and it is his responsibility to own his own life. He needs to take care of his own stuff and be the man that he needs to be. It's a tough call, but in all honesty it is very unfair that you have to shoulder all of the responsibility of caring for both you [i]and[/i] him on a day~to~day basis. No one should have to live like that. Hope this helps out.[/quote] She isn't enabling him. Part of what makes depression so soul crushing is that it takes away your capacity to be a competent and capable individual. You don't have the same ability to concentrate or think or reason, your brain becomes like a void. You are filled mostly with frustration and irritability that you are smothered by a black cloud and that you are powerless to do anything that hang on with every bit of might to some glimmer of hope and try and ride out the storm. It distorts your thinking and dulls your senses. Depending on the severity, getting out of bed can be a success. It is unfair, so is being the spouse of someone with a traumatic brain injury or any other life changing chronic illness. It isn't fair and it is soul sucking to be around someone who is severed depressed - however the person who isn't sick really has no choice but to keep going day in and day out. OP, hope they can try new meds - after 3 months if the meds aren't working or are "pooping out" then they should either be augmenting with a second med or trying a different med. take a look at the STAR D study - they were able to get about 80% of participants to have a great response within a year using that protocol. [url]http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/trials/practical/stard/allmedicationlevels.shtml[/url][/quote]
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