Reply to My elderly dad wants to move in with us...thoughts, advice, and opinions welcome

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[quote=Anonymous]You sound like you have this well in hand, but two issues give me pause: 1) He has an active life where he is now and 2) Your mother died rather recently.

Rather than do an all or nothing one-month "trial run," why not do longer and more frequent visits over the course of several months.  Tell your dad that with your mother dying so recently, you understand the urge to reach out to family, but you wonder if such a big change as him moving is necessary yet.  You'd rather take some time for you and him to grieve, to adjust to life without your mother, to see what emerges...and that you'd like to have him come more frequently during that time, for him to get a better sense of what life is like in your home with him more as a resident than a guest.  (So, when he comes to visit, do go about your normal routine, but also clear out more space for the guest room and bath to be "his" when he is there.)  Maybe there will be another option that emerges (something like a Methodist home near you).

Something else occurs to me: If your dad moves in, are you giving up your guest space for other visitors, such as your ILs?

One more thing from recent family experience: You'll likely become responsible for finding new doctors and specialists for him and possibly scheduling and attending all those appointments with him.  That adds up in terms of coordination and time.[/quote]

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