Reply to My elderly dad wants to move in with us...thoughts, advice, and opinions welcome

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[quote=Anonymous]My MIL lives with us (a cultural thing--it is expected inher and my husband's culture). Advice: make sure you and your husband spell out how you hope things will be. Listen to your husband if he has any concerns. Be the one who deals with your dad if any issues come up. And have a plan b if things aren't working out. It is hard to live with a parent and you don't want to get so you or your husband feel trapped.

Living space: try to really carve out an area of your home that is just your dad's. Do you have a basement you could finish? We made an in-law suite for MIL in our basement with her own bathroom, kitchenette, sitting area. That way we are not all up in each other's space. There is walk-out access to the basement too in case mobility ever becomes an issue for MIL. Try to consider that.

All of that said, we are reconsidering our arrangement right now. It is really hard for me sometimes, and it has been a strain on our marriage if there were issues with MIL that we could not agree on. Plus there has been a loss of privacy, we feel weird if we make any noise at all during sex, etc. It is a really big adjustment.[/quote]

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