Reply to I want my husband to reimburse me for half the income I lost during maternity leave

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Reply to "I want my husband to reimburse me for half the income I lost during maternity leave"

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[quote=Anonymous]Based on what you've described, yes.  If you didn't stay home (and lose the income) he would have been paying someone to care for your new baby, and it would have been expensive.

I don't think this arrangement is crazy.  My DH and I lived together for many years and kept things separate (not even a shared account; we took turns paying for things like groceries and gas).  When everything was separate we rarely, if ever, fought about money and when we got married we kept separate (but linked) accounts.  We are now 5 years into having kids and have opened joint accounts for the first time.  It is really challenging because we have different ideas of how and when to spend money--but I think this is one of the challenges of being married.  I also think it's good for our kids to see that even grown-ups have to make choices about how to use our money, and between DH and myself, there have to be compromises.

I will also say that we have taken turns being the bigger earner, and over time this has been okay.  He helped me get through grad school (as I had previously helped him).  I now work PT and earn less than he does; if I worked FT I would earn more.  But for a variety of reasons including personal temperament and job security we have chosen not to make it a purely financial decision, and I do not expect him to compensate me financially for the time I spend with the kids when he's not here.  I expect his appreciation, I expect a nice gift for Mothers Day, but I don't ask him to pay me.[/quote]

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