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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
(1) we eat relatively expensive food, meaning that a large chunk of our grocery bill is fresh produce, dairy and some meat. since this is important to our health, I'm not inclined to cut back much in this area since as I said, we use what we buy (PP's skepticism notwithstanding) and we buy it as cheaply as possible; 
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Good quality food is an emotional need for my husband. Some people can live off of rice and beans and be fine, he'd lose his mind. I understand you protecting this category. It sounds like you already have the "easy stuff" here handled - you're using what you're buying, and you know what you're buying. Buy in bulk when you can & when that decreases costs, we do this a lot for spices since my husband loves cooking with them but if you buy the little containers from the grocery store those aren't the freshest and the costs increase quickly!

[quote=Anonymous]
(2) we have not been budgeting for intermittent/unpredictable expenses such as car repairs, birthday parties, medical care (like the $200 emergency room copay from yesterday ...), property tax, etc. I like that YNAB forces you to acknowledge these expenses and plan for them, and I'm working on how to do that given our limited income; 
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You might want to go to your library and check out some of the Dave Ramsey books. IIRC, he has some sample budgets listed in them & you could probably work from there. Some people make a simple spread sheet, some people use envelopes, some people take advantage of tools like mint.com. Don't forget to add "Child extra curriculars" as a category, and include the extras. The "cheap" $50 soccer fee is quickly followed by the cleats & shin guard cost, lost water bottles, and so on.

[quote=Anonymous]
(3) our main problem is large purchases that are not in the budget, e.g. travel to see family. we went on a long road trip to see my in-laws this summer and I was blown away at how fast all the gas, hotels, and eating out added up. I honestly don't know how we will manage it next year. This is not something that we are "allowed" to decline to do because it is so important to my in-laws but it is a huge money suck. (I actually posted a thread about it a month or two ago because I know how much we end up spending and it stresses me out beyond belief). I also felt pressure to put the kids in swimming lessons and that was damned expensive too. This is a good example of where I need mental discipline -- everyone else I know has their child in swimming lessons in the summer. Because I felt guilty that my kids don't know how to swim, I was able to suspend disbelief about our finances long enough to sign them up (we didn't go into debt for the lessons, but we did spend out of savings). It's hard -- they did get a lot out of the lessons, and they do need to know how to swim for safety reasons -- but we just cannot afford this type of expense.
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When I was a kid, we packed food and camped. We never stayed in hotels and rarely saw the inside of a restaurant. It can significantly decrease costs of traveling to see family. You might end up with the following decision: If we camp and pack food, we can visit family every year; if we use hotels and restaurants, we can visit family every other year. It's just reality. If you can't do the camping/packed food, then the inlaws can foot the bill for the travel, or come see you, or cope. If they aren't willing to foot the bill or come see you it can't be all that important to them. And if you aren't willing to camp/pack food to see them, you're indicating how you prioritize them. It's not meant to be mean or anything - I would visit my in laws every other year rather than camp on the trip to see them! And I do like my in laws. I just hate camping more than I like my in laws.

A big help would probably also be to find a peer group that makes a similar amount of money or more importantly, prioritizes money in a similar way to you. Hanging around with people who spend a lot is contagious, and it does make you feel left out. [/quote]

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