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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP. Just refuse to discuss it. Let her own her own actions, you haven't done anything wrong. [/b]

If she starts to talk about anything related to the name, how she feels about the name end the conversation. Don't argue, discuss, placate, mediate, defend, negotiate etc...

I think you make it clear you are a family unit. If she wants to be involved with DC then she needs to be pleasant and respectful to DH. Her being this angry over a name is a complete overreaction and it is important you don't give her any power based on this. Her anger has no merit.

If she doesn't want to come to the hospital / visit - that is her choice. Hurtful to you but her choice. You don't want her in your house spouting anger.

Say nothing about it, don't talk about it. Hopefully once the baby is born she will come around. [/quote]

A million times over.  We learned quickly not to discuss names with my mom when our first was born.  DH is from another culture, and any name suggestion that included his culture got a wrinkly nose and criticism.  "That sounds weird." or  "He'll get made fun of." or "What's wrong with _________ instead?" or even "Can't you just pick a normal American name?"  These were not out there names, either, she just apparently did not want a "foreign" name for her grandchild.  I would have expected to be able to ponder possible name choices with my mom (we have that type of relationship--I know many mothers/daughters do not), but figured out really fast that it wasn't going to work.  We are expecting our second, and will not discuss names with her ("We've narrowed it down, but are still deciding.  It will be a surprise!")

Don't engage, just refuse to discuss.  It's your choice, not hers, she should know and understand that already without you telling her.  Is she really going to disown you and refuse to be grandma over a name?  That's on her then, and everyone will know how ridiculous she's being.  You're 38 weeks pregnant, you have more important things to occupy your time with!

"This is not up for discussion, Mom.  I hope it doesn't rain today."  If she presses the issue, "Okay, well, it was nice talking to you then, bye."[/quote]

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