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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really get these comments. When other loved ones engage in self-destructive behaviors, we aren't expected to stay quiet.  What if her brother was an addict, or an alcoholic, or drove recklessly, or drove in a car without a seatbelt?  Would she still have to keep her mouth shut?  Of course not - so why is this different?  [/quote]

I would like to hear more comments about this position, because I agree with it completely. Virtually any other self-destructive behavior that loved ones engage in will bring about conversations, interventions, family meetings, you name it. Weight is the one taboo. Guess what, though... it DOES affect other people. It's not just about the brother who is obese. So why can't we talk about it?[/quote]

Oh, please, does it really impact OP's life? Or is it just a subtle, not-so-subtle-really attempt at one upmanship? No, obesity is not like alcoholism, drug addiction or second hand smoke. OP gets a not-to-subtle ego trip out of all of this, which is why, if OP really cares, she'll step back, not judge, like on her brother with compassion and MYOB!

OP, if you really want to bond with your brother, spend time with him around some common interest like planning a family reunion or holiday gathering. Develop a closer relationship with him based on mutual respect. Any clue that you lack compassion for him or equanimity about the subject will come through loud and clear. In fact, it's so clear now that you're getting overwhelmingly negative responses to your idea about intervening. Show you care in ways that will be received positively.[/quote]

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