Reply to Ladies, do you have your own 'emergency' account?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just got a grilling from my mom bc I don't have my 'own' account with my 'own' money. It started over some inheritance money she gave me which I asked her if she would just hold on to it until September  for when we'll need to purchase some plane tickets. Anyway long story short, she says I should open my own account (in my name) to deposit the money into. She says a woman should have her own money to take care of herself and children should anything happen.

I currently stay at home, but even when I was working full time I had no such account.. All of our money wasp oiled together. I don't feel right keeping the money for 'myself.'. Thoughts?

BTW, I haven't mentioned this to my husband yet as I'm visiting my mom right now... This just started yesterday.
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Just so long as you're ok with your husband having his own account with his own money. Otherwise, it's a ridiculous, selfish double-standard.[/quote]

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Another way to look at it is that it helps equalize the financial power in the relationship. If one partner makes more or all of the money (male or female), then having a separate account with funds over which the low/no-earning partner has exclusive control gives the low/no-earning partner a bit more financial power. Some people may not want or need that power and that's ok. Others, especially in situations where the differences in earnings are significant (like a SAH parent), may gain a sense of security, autonomy, and empowerment from having money that is exclusively theirs. This might actually enhance the relationship for both partners. Who wants to be around an insecure dependent adult?

Alternately, some people (and I would put myself in this camp) have issues about money for which having a separate and exclusive account is a quick fix. For example, I grew up poor and my mother was a total spendthrift. We were constantly being kicked out of apartments because we couldn't make rent as a result of her overspending. As a result, I have a hard time trusting others to make good decisions about money. Having a bit stashed away in a private savings account eases all that anxiety, stops all fighting about money, and lets everyone in my family sleep at night. [/quote]

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