Reply to Can I tell my DD she can't dance in the upcoming recital?

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Reply to "Can I tell my DD she can't dance in the upcoming recital?"

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[quote=Anonymous]You have to let her dance for her self-esteem.  I could give you so many reasons of why this is good for your daughter AND the other kids.  Your daughter is trying, practicing at home, diligently going to class. This is a perfect example of when to praise the effort, not the result.  And it shows great self-presence that your daughter wants to continue to dance and learn even though she might be behind the class.  You are really lucky.  Don't kill this self-esteem.  My DD throws in the towel if she isn't perfect and it is a struggle for us to convince her that mistakes are great learning experiences.

Further, this is a good learning experience for the other kids, showing them that it is OK to make mistakes.  My DD was in a group music recital last year, and the lead of the show (and the oldest kid) made a blunder in the beginning; he simply started over and then the piece went beautifully (well, there was a wrinkle in the middle, but the other kids adapted).  The point is (1) it was a great for my DD to see that other kids make mistakes and that life goes on; and (2) the other kids adapted.

If your daughter really was in danger of hurting other kids in the class, then the teacher would modify the routine.  My DD had her dance recital recently and the morning of the performance the teacher made a last minute switch to the routine, b/c in the dress rehearsal one or two of the kids weren't getting it.  It worked out really well.

Trust me, I've been in your shoes -- my kids do lots of activities and have lots of performances, and many of them don't go smoothly. My DD couldn't remember her piano piece and sat in silence for a few mnutes in the middle.  It was heart wrenching, but she got threw it and it gave her the confidence to know that she could do it.  My other child refused to play in his recital.  Just sat there and didn't do anything.  It happens, but if your daughter is willing to give it a try, good for her.  You don't have to lie and tell her she was great -- you tell her how proud you are of how hard she worked.  And bring flowers.[/quote]

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