Reply to Pre-teens and birth control

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the added insights.

I personally agree that Sarah's moodiness is within the realm of normal teen issues and much of the problem lies with Wanda. Wanda however had no parenting modeling herself and has only really gotten her own life together in the past 3 years. She has worked really hard at being a good parent recently however given her past, and her rate of learning and progress, becoming a great parent will take decades. She is trying and asking questions and getting help but the putting it into practice when Sarah is giving her attitude is definitely a work in progress. Sarah knows what buttons to press and can be pretty mouthy but in a very young, immature way - she is a very young 12.

If Sarah being on BCPs did improve her moods then it would benefit all of them as there would be less conflict, and fewer consequences for Sarah (who is always in trouble). My fear though is that Wanda has convinced herself that the moodiness is hormone / menstrual related and that if the BCPs don't improve her mood...then what?

Sarah is anemic so maybe potentially the BCPs could help with that as well (although the anemia is long standing and not from blood loss).

Obviously a doctor needs to be involved however Wanda doesn't trust really anyone and feels she knows Sarah much better than a doctor who only sees her on rare occasion. She knows she has to see a doctor to get a prescription, she just thinks if she can tell the doctor that they tried the pills and it worked, the doctor will take her seriously and understand. [/quote]

Sarah doesn't sound too different from my twelve-year old.  It's a difficult age.  Keeping her active and busy helps a lot with the moodiness.

I'd really suggest seeing if you can't connect Wanda with a social worker to get some advice from an experienced professional who can connect her to various services.  Perhaps the family counselor can help with some of this as well.  It also sounds to me like the child could really benefit from a center with programs for at-risk youth.  The ones I am familiar with are all in DC but perhaps getting Sarah involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters might be a really good thing for this family.

Turning Point is a transitional living center for single mothers in DC, run by the Salvation Army, and it sounds like Wanda faces similar challenges to those that some of the women they serve do.  You might consider calling them and asking them if they can connect you to services that might help Wanda in her community.

Unfortunately, I don't really know anything about the ramifications of taking birth control so young.  I wouldn't recommend it, certainly, and especially not the way Wanda plans to do it.  I switched birth control several times before I found a type that worked well for me.  That being said, I think that the birth control is the least of the problems here, based on your comments.[/quote]

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