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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the added insights.

I personally agree that Sarah's moodiness is within the realm of normal teen issues and much of the problem lies with Wanda. Wanda however had no parenting modeling herself and has only really gotten her own life together in the past 3 years. She has worked really hard at being a good parent recently however given her past, and her rate of learning and progress, becoming a great parent will take decades. She is trying and asking questions and getting help but the putting it into practice when Sarah is giving her attitude is definitely a work in progress. Sarah knows what buttons to press and can be pretty mouthy but in a very young, immature way - she is a very young 12.

[b]If Sarah being on BCPs did improve her moods then it would benefit all of them as there would be less conflict, and fewer consequences for Sarah [/b](who is always in trouble). My fear though is that Wanda has convinced herself that the moodiness is hormone / menstrual related and that if the BCPs don't improve her mood...then what?

Sarah is anemic so maybe potentially the BCPs could help with that as well (although the anemia is long standing and not from blood loss).

Obviously a doctor needs to be involved however Wanda doesn't trust really anyone and feels she knows Sarah much better than a doctor who only sees her on rare occasion. She knows she has to see a doctor to get a prescription, she just thinks if she can tell the doctor that they tried the pills and it worked, the doctor will take her seriously and understand. [/quote]

medicating a child with prescription medications is child abuse. this person is trying to medicate the child to cover for her inability to parent. the fact that she had a hard life herself and no parenting models is no excuse to let this happen. she does not trust doctors simply because she knows a doctor would discover her lie, that the child is not the problem but that she is the problem. also, if a doctor is told that she has given birth control to the child, I believe the doctor has a duty to report her.  her behavior is very dangerous, when the birth control does not work, she will go to antidepressant, or valium or other stuff. unfortunaterly i had direct experience with a similar situation, a mother who had serious behaviora problems and distroyed her family (H left first, and 3 girls they all left expect the last one, who survived by going to boarding school - mother is simply a person impossible to live with, she does not realizes it but she is really mentally abusive - she could not face her issues, but convinced herslef that in her H's famnily there was mental illness and that her H and daughters were all mentally ill. the last one, the only one who did not leave her, she gave her antidepressant when the child was 14 - the mother was convionced that the child's emotional issues were not due to the mother's behavior and to the situation (no father, no sisters), but to depression and she gave the child tons of antidepressants that were prescribed by doctors for the mother. luckily the child knew better, and after moving to the boarding school where her mother could not put the drugs in her mouth, started throwing them in the garbage while telling the mother that she was taking them.

the phrase in bold is very troubling. you cannot medicate a child who does not need the drug just because so she is tamer. from wehat you say the problem is the mother and she needs tro be helped to face it and to overcome it with counseling. in any case, the  child must be protected[/quote]

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