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[quote=Anonymous]OP - it sounds like you are stressed out and resenting the fact that your are the sole bread winner. You might also be worrying about whether you will ever have enough in savings to retire. Those feelings are worth discussing with your spouse (or a therapist).

Without knowing you or your spouse, I can't know if those "other" expenses are frivolous or not. 40 years ago my dad had a similar question to my mom about where all the money was going. So she tracked every single cent for a month. You know what? He never questioned her again. Groceries, gas, utilities, keeping the kids in clothes and shoes that fit, doctors, parking meters, babysitters. They all add up.

Then again, it is possible that your spouse is shopping to fill a void in her life (emotional distance from you, intellectual boredom from being out of the work force, stress from being the primary caregiver 24x7). If that's the case, you need to work with her to fix that and get her emotionally healthy again.

09:53 has the right idea.

What works for our family: salaries (after retirement savings) go into three pots: his checking, her checking, house checking. House checking supports mortgage, utilities, groceries, kids' clothes, tuition, etc. What goes into our individual accounts (equal amounts) is discretionary and supports cars (he can choose a more expensive gas-guzzling car if he wants to pay for it), clothing, meals out, gifts, individual travel, etc. [/quote]

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