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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Grown grandchild can have her own relationship with Grandma without parents stepping in. Grandma is probably honored that a 20-year-old wants to live with her, and it's ok for a grandmother to treat her grandchild sometimes. 20 year old might be trained in courtesy: call if you're out late so Grandma won't worry, clean your own dishes, help around the house, put out the garbage. But with internship responsibilities and living in a new city, there will be enough growing up going on without artificially imposed rules or curfews. It could be a wonderful bonding opportunity for both generations.[/quote]

OP already said curfews were not her issue, but more the financial burden.  
My MIL is unable to say "no" to her grandchildren and will go into debt to give them things. She will not pick up her medication so she has $$ to take her 20+ year old grandchildren out for Starbucks.  We are working to "educate" the grandchildren about the full situation, but it is a slippery slope b/c it embarrasses and upsets MIL.

Another thing to consider, MIL will also willingly buy alcohol for her 18 year old grandchildren.  Although they drink it at her home, she goes to bed and they go out afterwards.  We have again tried to discuss the risks of this with both MIL and grandchildren, but often to deaf ears.

I do not think OP is helicoptering, just trying to think things through and help ensure it is a relationship building, positive summer experience for everyone that doesn't have negative long term implications.

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