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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A curfew for a 20 yr old? You're kidding, right?[/quote]

Americans infantalise young adulthood.[/quote]

I completely agree. A 20 year old should be more than able to figure out how to respectfully live in her grandmothers home and to police herself. It is sad to see adults still so immature and irresponsible - not their fault, they haven't been given the opportunity to grow up, hence the stunted development. A parent show not be involved in arranging any of a 20 yr olds affairs. [/quote]
I'm the first quoted pp and this was more of my point. A 20 yr old is certainly old enough to know how to be respectful towards his/her host(s); be it parents, grandparents, or someone else. A curfew for an adult (your 20 yr old child is no longer a "kid"!) is a little ridiculous. If she's not going to be at a reasonable hour for some reason, she should have sense to let her grandmother know what time she expects to be home. [/quote]

Ok, but why does Grandma have to bear the burden of whether the 20 YO has it figured out?  It is one thing if the DD is living at home and the parents can fight that battle.  It is quite another thing for the DD to be living with a 3rd party relative and taking for granted that she can do the "right" thing.

I agree that a "curfew" may be a little much.  But I see nothing wrong with the parents talking to DD about expectations of living with Grandma and that stuff the parents would tolerate under their roof should be a no-go at Grandma's.

I am against helicopter parenting more than most - but having first hand experience on how difficult it is for a liveaway 20YO college student to transition back into the family home- I know that 20YO sometimes need strong coaching.  Being 20YO does not automatically make them mature responsible adults.[/quote]

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