Reply to Help Me Learn How to Not Come Off As Abrasive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like my husband. Quite warm and caring but frequently comes off as abrasive to new ppl or ppl he perceives as being less efficient or competent.

Everyone thinks that I'm the nice one but those close to us will tell you that I'm kind of wicked.

Anyhow, to answer your question: Smile. Soften your language and tone, especially when you give criticisms. Sandwich criticisms with compliments. Smile some more. Pretend to care about whatever the staff person cares about. Act interested in his/her family. Have your secretary note birthdays on your calendar so that you remember to wish them a good day or provide a card of some sort. This little tricks work every time.[/quote]

If you overdo this, people also can perceive you to be brown nosing, or someone, who is either sleazy or trying too hard.  I personally don't trust overly friendly people, or those who always have the widest smile every single time about everything and try to smooth things over.  In my experience such people tend to be snakes behind your back, have secret agenda, and almost always if confronted in some way or contradicted turn the ugly face towards you.   I think remembering the birthdays of all your coworkers is weird, unless you have a very small and very tight group.  [/quote]

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