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[quote=Anonymous]They sound pushy and annoying, although I can see why they would want to spend time with the baby.  Make sure your nanny is ok with it first, since some nannies I know would NOT like this arrangement.  Then decide on fixed days/times they can come, and make it in the morning or at lunchtime so they LEAVE when the baby goes down for a nap - that'll take care of the idea that they'll be hanging around for dinner. (I'd rather have cereal or eggs for dinner than have forced company who cooks dinner.)  Tell them to stop rearranging your stuff and otherwise overstepping their boundaries.  The idea that they are visiting the baby and not you, and thus they don't have to check with you first, is bizarre and disingenuous; have your husband tell them they should not come without prior arrangement.

OP, before getting married did you and your husband discuss how involved with your lives his family would or would not be?  Is this a cultural thing? He needs to understand that it's his family, not yours, and you don't want them all up in your business and treating your house like their house.  And they need to learn -- from your husband and from the limits that you and your husband set up and enforce -- that there are boundaries they need to respect.  I agree with the PPs who say to nip this in the bud, and if need be have a knock-down, drag-out now.  If MIL or SIL shout, so what?  The more out of control they get, the calmer and more rational you should become. Not only will that drive them batty but it will keep the focus on the substance of what you're trying to achieve.  And ultimately they want something from you (access to your child), so you hold the best cards.  Good luck, OP. Let us know how it goes![/quote]

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