Reply to Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore

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Reply to "Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Being direct and truthful is not an issue. You have to do that, out of respect for them.

- So I would start off by saying that you see how they love being with their grandchildren, and that you want to facilitate this as much as possible. 
- That you love them both dearly and that you know this will be upsetting for them to hear. That you are sorry for this.
- But that recently DH and yourself have been worried by eyesight/reaction time/whatever it is while driving. Make sure to include for both of them a specific incident, to prove your point! 
- Add that of course you can see they still have all their intellect, which is why you feel you can all have a very calm and rational discussion about this.
- Finally, say that DH and yourself have come to the conclusion that the children will now be driven by yourselves. Suggest new routine of sleepovers here.

If they can see that you care for their well-being and sincerely want their relationship with their grandchildren to continue, then it will greatly ease the pain.[/quote]

This is what we did (actually, DH did it).  At the time the ILs were in their late 70s and I was increasingly feeling as if my kids were getting into a car with a drunk driver behind the wheel.  We couldn't allow it any longer.

The ILs were upset but it blew over.  Although we have tried to faciliate visits by driving the kids, taking them to X place to meet the ILs, etc., bottom-line, it pretty much put an end to the ILs' outings with them.  Which is sad, but not sadder than a horrible car accident for which I would never forgive myself (had it happened and had I said nothing).[/quote]

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