Reply to Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore

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Reply to "Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I feel like I have a handle on how the second half of the conversation would go (logistics, me offering to drop kids off, etc.) but I'm so afraid of simply starting the conversation. This is the start of something way bigger. It breaks my heart. They live in a huge house further out. They come into Chevy Chase, Bethesda, DC, all the time for doc appointments. How far away are we from telling them they shouldn't be driving at all? Is this conversation the precursor to the "sell your house and get a condo in Chevy Chase next to the Barlow Bldg where all your various doc appointments are"? 
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PP here who's BTDT with a parent - You're right to start thinking about what comes next. It's possible, although not likely, that they will welcome starting the conversation. But either way, you need to start planning, ideally earlier than we did (only after my dad lost his license.) There are ways to keep people in their own home even without a car; we found a nonprofit agency through the state/local council on aging that would send a driver for whatever specified time my dad needed (for a fee). But it's just not the same as having the independence to go where you want, when you want. It actually helped us all see that we needed to be thinking about the next step, which in our case was a move to a retirement community where he can live now independently and stay even when/if he declines. My dad still thinks of himself as a youngish guy, and I think we preferred to keep thinking of him in the same terms, and as someone who had made it through the death of a spouse and was doing pretty well. But honestly if you're talking late 70s, these are not young people, and you need to start looking at what the options are when driving or other vital functions become too difficult and/or dangerous. It's a lousy part of life to be honest, especially if you have young kids to deal with as well. The upside is that when you have a plan that works, everyone is happier and healthier in the long run. [/quote]

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