Reply to Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore

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Reply to "Telling grandparents we're not comfortable with them driving the kids anymore"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone. I know it might sound odd, but I do have a good relationship with my inlaws. I'm more rational and level headed than DH (not saying much) and my delivery would probably be more effective. Also, I'm a SAHM and definitely more connected with the kids and their routines, including their routines with the inlaws. It would be very obvious that this would be coming from me, regardless of who the messenger was. I feel like I owe it to them to have the conversation face to face with them and not use DH as a straw man. For example, DH hasn't been around for some of the concerning incidents and it would be obvious that he would be bringing up concerns on my behalf.

I feel like I have a handle on how the second half of the conversation would go (logistics, me offering to drop kids off, etc.) but I'm so afraid of simply starting the conversation. This is the start of something way bigger. It breaks my heart. They live in a huge house further out. They come into Chevy Chase, Bethesda, DC, all the time for doc appointments. How far away are we from telling them they shouldn't be driving at all? Is this conversation the precursor to the "sell your house and get a condo in Chevy Chase next to the Barlow Bldg where all your various doc appointments are"?

I know my childrens' safety comes before all else. But my sympathy and guilt and confrontation-avoidance is a close second.

[/quote]

You sound like a kind, empathetic person.  And you are right that this is probably just the first of a series of difficult conversations on the topic.  But trust your gut.  This is for the safety of your kids, and down the line for the safety of your in laws and everyone else they encounter on the road.  It's the right thing to do.

In the meantime, take comfort in your good intentions and your love for them.  Your in laws may be upset or angry, but they know you and they know how much you care for them.  This will likely be a painful conversation, but you have years of history and experience together that tell them you love them.  So maybe that's the place to start.  Tell them point blank that you love them and that it hurts you to tell them this, but . . . .

Good luck![/quote]

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