Reply to If you grew up poor, do you wish your kids did too?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you like reading parenting or sociology books, check out Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life.

http://www.amazon.com/Unequal-Childhoods-Class-Race-Family/dp/0520271424

As someone who was raised working class and at times poor, and who is now upper middle class, I found this book spot on in describing the overwhelming strengths daily life in the middle class give your kids. It's profound how big the gulf is.  That doesn't mean it's ideal. There is a benefit to some entitlement mentality (kids advocate for themselves and learn how to do so as adults), but it can obviously go too far (and does). There is a lot to be said for some parenting techniques used by poor parents. Kids are more creative, closer to family, don't get bored or exhausted from hyper over scheduling.  My goal is to find a happy mixture for my child, which I think I'm doing pretty well at, so far.

Highly recommend the book if you like reading that sort of thing.[/quote]

10:19 poster here.  Sounds like an interesting read.

My friend's spoiled child has WAY too many structured activities/lessons, and I often think that part of the problem is that the kid has no idea how to entertain herself or be alone with her own thoughts for a while.  I mean, even in the car, there's a video screen!

And I worry that so many kids are raised with ALL of their time in lessons and planned activities, that they have no idea about self-direction or initiating things on their own, et cetera.

My parents could never afford lessons.  I really wanted to take piano lessons as a kid, but it was an impossibility.  And they also couldn't afford activities.  So I made my own fun.  I learned to do things on my own.  I developed a love of animals, because we did have a dog (that was when even poor people could afford a dog), and I would find turtles and I would spend a lot of time outside, observing nature.

So I am grateful for that.  But I still feel like the carryover anxiety I got from my parents about money had such a horrible effect on me, that even as an adult, I haven't been able to shake it.[/quote]

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