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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "I can't look my friend in the eye because she just had an abortion"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't blame you for feeling upset. What I find somewhat distasteful is the way you discount her reasons for getting pregnant (she went off the pill because it ruined her skin -- is that not a valid reason for wanting to go off the pill? she continued to have sex -- oh my god, what a whore! She didn't want to spend the money on an IUD -- so what?) OP, stop marginalizing her. It's okay to feel uncomfortable around her but it's not okay to depict her as some kind of valueless dingbat tightwad trollop.[/quote] Well, no, I understand this. I've known plenty of people who basically refused to use any form of BC, got pregnant (duh!) and then acted all surprised and indignant that it had happened. It was like, hello? [b] Did you not take sex ed in school?[/b] Unprotected sex in your 20's = baby a large percentage of the time. This is basic. And I am staunchly pro-choice, but I do judge people like this for being stupid as hell and having fucked up priorities. So it's more "convenient" to have an abortion than it is to use a condom? WTF? Anyone with any self-respect will go out of their way to avoid ever having an unplanned pregnancy or an abortion.[/quote] Not the PP you're responding to or any of the PPs on this thread, but honestly, this is part of the problem. Sure, I "took" sex ed in school. It was a small unit in a general, one semester health class that made up the half of sophomore year that was not driver's ed. It was taught by one of the football coaches. The message we received was "Don't have sex because you'll get diseases." As for birth control, we were basically taught that there are many forms of "birth control" including the rhythm method, pulling out, condoms, pills, etc., but that none of them are perfectly effective. Then it was back to more slide shows about the horrors of genital warts. I'm 32 years old. I was educated by my parents, and certainly I learned other things in other classes later, but I went to a decent sized public high school in a college town that hosts a Big Ten university. It wasn't the backwoods, and we basically learned nothing. It sounds like the OP's friend probably knows more about birth control than my high school sex ed teacher, what with the PhD and all, but being an asshole to her because of her reproductive decisions is just as wrong as any of the smug young moms who judge older women with fertility issues for "waiting too long". And I'm pretty sure the OP knows that. OP, work through your uncharitable issues. Be kind to your friend.[/quote]
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