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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the replies everybody.

To clarify, I haven't thrown my hands up and given up. I'm not using my health as a complete excuse, but it does make life that much more challenging. I have gone in for a few job interviews, but wasn't hired. I had to go in with my cane, and once with a wrist brace because my wrist had been numb for a few days. I'm going to be in a wheelchair in the next decade, and I've already lost a lot of fine motor skills. I type with an ergonomical keyboard.

I can't be a nanny anymore, because I can't run after the kids. I can't easily get up and down off the floor, and my hands tremor too much to safely hold a baby. Even if I can somehow hide these symptoms at a job interview with a family, I would not take the job because I am not safe to care for children.

About my resentment towards people with money: it's difficult to explain. I don't constantly shake my fist and wish ill on people with large bank accounts, but it just frustrates me so much that there is such a large gap between me and them. I get that some of you have worked hard for many years to get where you are, but even knowing that doesn't help me now. I don't wish being poor on you, and applaud your hard work.

But that doesn't mean that I don't often wish that instead of buying that timeshare or tuition for a really expensive private school, you would just give that money to me and help me out.

Also, I've been reading DCUM before I was diagnosed, when I was still a nanny. I found it very helpful, and also found it addicting. I'm on spring break this week, and since the weather changes are really affecting my nerves and joints and making it hard for me to be mobile, I'm at home in bed playing around on the internet and wasting time. It's no more productive for me to be on here than it is for you, so judge me about anything but reading this site, lest you hold the mirror up to yourself and say the same thing to your own scowling face.[/quote]

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