Anonymous
03/12/2013 19:37
Subject: I Resent People With Money
OP here again. Luckily, my college is paid for, and I can take as long as I need to complete it. But, the longer that I am in college, the less time that I will be working and earning money. It's just such a huge cycle that leaves me with despair and nothing to show.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 19:30
Subject: I Resent People With Money
Op, leave and immigrate.
You can study at a university in europe. The Netherlands have college programs that are taught in English. And colleges do not have tuition. Google cimo and studying in Sweden, etc
There are lots of forums discussing this. Your cannot afford to be a student and have ms here, and you cannot keep a job and have ms. I know jobs are hard to come by, but you got no experience or job skills.
If all else fails, look into becoming a phlebotomist, a 3 month certificate course and you work at a hospital drawing blood. But you get health insurance, even though pay is awful. I would assume that you could manage the hours.
And try faith. Convince yourself that your disease is an ugly old gaggling woman, every time you walk up a hill and touch a tree, mother earth wins and she becomes weaker. Keep walking up that hill. Then you will find you no longer fear that ugly old woman and you will have conguered your illness
You can study at a university in europe. The Netherlands have college programs that are taught in English. And colleges do not have tuition. Google cimo and studying in Sweden, etc
There are lots of forums discussing this. Your cannot afford to be a student and have ms here, and you cannot keep a job and have ms. I know jobs are hard to come by, but you got no experience or job skills.
If all else fails, look into becoming a phlebotomist, a 3 month certificate course and you work at a hospital drawing blood. But you get health insurance, even though pay is awful. I would assume that you could manage the hours.
And try faith. Convince yourself that your disease is an ugly old gaggling woman, every time you walk up a hill and touch a tree, mother earth wins and she becomes weaker. Keep walking up that hill. Then you will find you no longer fear that ugly old woman and you will have conguered your illness
Anonymous
03/12/2013 17:55
Subject: I Resent People With Money
Anonymous wrote:OP if you continue to feel this way you will NEVER get out of the situation you're in. You're thinking is toxic and unproductive.
I am 47, when I was 22 I worked THREE jobs to pay my rent. Couldn't afford a bed so I slept on the floor. I saved my money, waited till I was 31 to get married. Found a great partner who shares my beliefs and who lifts me up, not drags me down. Together we have achieved a lot but in the time we NEVER felt sorry for ourselves. Stop using your health as an excuse. People with way more health issues than you have gone very far in life. Achieved a great deal financially, spiritually and personally. Try having your arms and legs blown off....
Ignorant and disgusting.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 17:51
Subject: I Resent People With Money
OP here. Thanks for the replies everybody.
To clarify, I haven't thrown my hands up and given up. I'm not using my health as a complete excuse, but it does make life that much more challenging. I have gone in for a few job interviews, but wasn't hired. I had to go in with my cane, and once with a wrist brace because my wrist had been numb for a few days. I'm going to be in a wheelchair in the next decade, and I've already lost a lot of fine motor skills. I type with an ergonomical keyboard.
I can't be a nanny anymore, because I can't run after the kids. I can't easily get up and down off the floor, and my hands tremor too much to safely hold a baby. Even if I can somehow hide these symptoms at a job interview with a family, I would not take the job because I am not safe to care for children.
About my resentment towards people with money: it's difficult to explain. I don't constantly shake my fist and wish ill on people with large bank accounts, but it just frustrates me so much that there is such a large gap between me and them. I get that some of you have worked hard for many years to get where you are, but even knowing that doesn't help me now. I don't wish being poor on you, and applaud your hard work.
But that doesn't mean that I don't often wish that instead of buying that timeshare or tuition for a really expensive private school, you would just give that money to me and help me out.
Also, I've been reading DCUM before I was diagnosed, when I was still a nanny. I found it very helpful, and also found it addicting. I'm on spring break this week, and since the weather changes are really affecting my nerves and joints and making it hard for me to be mobile, I'm at home in bed playing around on the internet and wasting time. It's no more productive for me to be on here than it is for you, so judge me about anything but reading this site, lest you hold the mirror up to yourself and say the same thing to your own scowling face.
To clarify, I haven't thrown my hands up and given up. I'm not using my health as a complete excuse, but it does make life that much more challenging. I have gone in for a few job interviews, but wasn't hired. I had to go in with my cane, and once with a wrist brace because my wrist had been numb for a few days. I'm going to be in a wheelchair in the next decade, and I've already lost a lot of fine motor skills. I type with an ergonomical keyboard.
I can't be a nanny anymore, because I can't run after the kids. I can't easily get up and down off the floor, and my hands tremor too much to safely hold a baby. Even if I can somehow hide these symptoms at a job interview with a family, I would not take the job because I am not safe to care for children.
About my resentment towards people with money: it's difficult to explain. I don't constantly shake my fist and wish ill on people with large bank accounts, but it just frustrates me so much that there is such a large gap between me and them. I get that some of you have worked hard for many years to get where you are, but even knowing that doesn't help me now. I don't wish being poor on you, and applaud your hard work.
But that doesn't mean that I don't often wish that instead of buying that timeshare or tuition for a really expensive private school, you would just give that money to me and help me out.
Also, I've been reading DCUM before I was diagnosed, when I was still a nanny. I found it very helpful, and also found it addicting. I'm on spring break this week, and since the weather changes are really affecting my nerves and joints and making it hard for me to be mobile, I'm at home in bed playing around on the internet and wasting time. It's no more productive for me to be on here than it is for you, so judge me about anything but reading this site, lest you hold the mirror up to yourself and say the same thing to your own scowling face.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 17:36
Subject: I Resent People With Money
Anonymous wrote:\Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP if you continue to feel this way you will NEVER get out of the situation you're in. You're thinking is toxic and unproductive.
I am 47, when I was 22 I worked THREE jobs to pay my rent. Couldn't afford a bed so I slept on the floor. I saved my money, waited till I was 31 to get married. Found a great partner who shares my beliefs and who lifts me up, not drags me down. Together we have achieved a lot but in the time we NEVER felt sorry for ourselves. Stop using your health as an excuse. People with way more health issues than you have gone very far in life. Achieved a great deal financially, spiritually and personally. Try having your arms and legs blown off....
Well, good for you. Did you work your THREE jobs while having MS?
I bet you are a Republican.
Disgusting.
My 57yo DH has MS. He was diagnosed 30 years ago and is doing fine. He walks with a limp, and cannot manage long distances, but on the whole he lives a normal life and works a normal job. He hopes to work for another 10 years before retiring.
OP, I agree with the PP that at 22yo you are not the peer of most DCUM'ers. Comparing yourself financially to 30-60yos is not useful to you.
I do hope you are getting good health care - when my DH was diagnosed there was nothing to be done, but there are effective drugs available now. Be sure to seek out the best possible treatment.
Good for him! But surely you understand that if he lost the sight in one eye for a month (like OP) or had another serious impact due to his MS, he would not be "using his health as an excuse" if he was unable to work because of it. Absolutely people with MS can live normal lives, but there are also times when MS can have such serious impacts that it can be very challenging to hold a full time job.
Look, I'm a left-leaning Democrat and have as much sympathy for OP as you do. I disagree with the "using health as an excuse" PP who sounds like an ass. But OP has two issues going here:
1. Money
2. MS
RE #1, OP is 22yo. MS or not, she should by no means expect to be as financially stable as those of us who have been working for decades. She just shouldn't, it is not realistic or reasonable and it is non-productive for her to hang out on boards with people who have been in the process of career- and asset-building for years.
RE #2, I feel for OP, my DH has MS, I GET IT. But MS is not a death sentence. It is not even a disability sentence anymore. There are lots of very effective treatments out there and OP should make use of them right now, before the MS progresses.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 16:20
Subject: Re:I Resent People With Money
New poster here, my cousin was diagnosed with MS at 28 after having a "mini stroke" (I'm not sure what the appropriate term is but she had stroke like symptoms caused by lesions on her brain) and required months of speech therapy to help her speak normally again. After a tough battle for 5 years, she has been in remission for 15. She had a full time job, but after their third kid was born she now stays home with them and their dog since her husband has to travel for work a week out of each month.
I know the diagnosis sucks but you really can't think of it as a death sentence. My best friend was diagnosed with lupus at 22, just when we were graduating college and I know she felt like her life was over. At 27, she has a successful career because she got some therapy, joined some support groups, and realized that she could still live a rich life. There are days she struggles and there have been times she's stayed with my DH and me because she is too exhausted to get out of bed, so we make sure she eats and is taken care of. It sounds like you need a good support system. It does wonders.
And lastly, I know how you feel about the money issue. At 27, after college and grad school, I have gone through almost all of my savings. And when I read some of these threads I get jealous of the money that people have. Thankfully DH makes a big enough salary that we do ok (and don't live in DC!!!) . But back when I was trying to figure out which credit card bill to pay (before DH and I were married and I didn't feel comfortable asking him for help), I remember having to implement some self discipline and not read ANY threads where money was discussed.
Good luck OP. I hope you are able to get some therapy and establish a support group for yourself.
I know the diagnosis sucks but you really can't think of it as a death sentence. My best friend was diagnosed with lupus at 22, just when we were graduating college and I know she felt like her life was over. At 27, she has a successful career because she got some therapy, joined some support groups, and realized that she could still live a rich life. There are days she struggles and there have been times she's stayed with my DH and me because she is too exhausted to get out of bed, so we make sure she eats and is taken care of. It sounds like you need a good support system. It does wonders.
And lastly, I know how you feel about the money issue. At 27, after college and grad school, I have gone through almost all of my savings. And when I read some of these threads I get jealous of the money that people have. Thankfully DH makes a big enough salary that we do ok (and don't live in DC!!!) . But back when I was trying to figure out which credit card bill to pay (before DH and I were married and I didn't feel comfortable asking him for help), I remember having to implement some self discipline and not read ANY threads where money was discussed.
Good luck OP. I hope you are able to get some therapy and establish a support group for yourself.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 16:12
Subject: I Resent People With Money
\Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP if you continue to feel this way you will NEVER get out of the situation you're in. You're thinking is toxic and unproductive.
I am 47, when I was 22 I worked THREE jobs to pay my rent. Couldn't afford a bed so I slept on the floor. I saved my money, waited till I was 31 to get married. Found a great partner who shares my beliefs and who lifts me up, not drags me down. Together we have achieved a lot but in the time we NEVER felt sorry for ourselves. Stop using your health as an excuse. People with way more health issues than you have gone very far in life. Achieved a great deal financially, spiritually and personally. Try having your arms and legs blown off....
Well, good for you. Did you work your THREE jobs while having MS?
I bet you are a Republican.
Disgusting.
My 57yo DH has MS. He was diagnosed 30 years ago and is doing fine. He walks with a limp, and cannot manage long distances, but on the whole he lives a normal life and works a normal job. He hopes to work for another 10 years before retiring.
OP, I agree with the PP that at 22yo you are not the peer of most DCUM'ers. Comparing yourself financially to 30-60yos is not useful to you.
I do hope you are getting good health care - when my DH was diagnosed there was nothing to be done, but there are effective drugs available now. Be sure to seek out the best possible treatment.
Good for him! But surely you understand that if he lost the sight in one eye for a month (like OP) or had another serious impact due to his MS, he would not be "using his health as an excuse" if he was unable to work because of it. Absolutely people with MS can live normal lives, but there are also times when MS can have such serious impacts that it can be very challenging to hold a full time job.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 16:06
Subject: I Resent People With Money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP if you continue to feel this way you will NEVER get out of the situation you're in. You're thinking is toxic and unproductive.
I am 47, when I was 22 I worked THREE jobs to pay my rent. Couldn't afford a bed so I slept on the floor. I saved my money, waited till I was 31 to get married. Found a great partner who shares my beliefs and who lifts me up, not drags me down. Together we have achieved a lot but in the time we NEVER felt sorry for ourselves. Stop using your health as an excuse. People with way more health issues than you have gone very far in life. Achieved a great deal financially, spiritually and personally. Try having your arms and legs blown off....
Well, good for you. Did you work your THREE jobs while having MS?
I bet you are a Republican.
Disgusting.
My 57yo DH has MS. He was diagnosed 30 years ago and is doing fine. He walks with a limp, and cannot manage long distances, but on the whole he lives a normal life and works a normal job. He hopes to work for another 10 years before retiring.
OP, I agree with the PP that at 22yo you are not the peer of most DCUM'ers. Comparing yourself financially to 30-60yos is not useful to you.
I do hope you are getting good health care - when my DH was diagnosed there was nothing to be done, but there are effective drugs available now. Be sure to seek out the best possible treatment.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 15:33
Subject: I Resent People With Money
I'm so sorry OP, that you have MS! I would not wish that on my worst enemy.
And I fully support your right to vent loudly on DCUM.
Of course you know yourself that PPs are right, and that there is nothing to be done but fight through it, however unfair it is.
You should wean yourself off DCUM and choose another profession, because it is probably that spoiled moneyed atmosphere that throws you off.
My mother's first MS crisis (blindness, like you), occurred at 26. Luckily, hers is the slow-developing kind, and at 62 she can still walk around but not use her hands for any detailed work (writing, cooking, etc).
She was fortunate to meet my father, who supported her all her life. They were quite poor in their 20s, and we lived in a dingy studio apartment for the first 3 years of my life. Then life was good to them, mainly through my father's hard work.
You are in the significantly more difficult position of paying and caring for your own self.
Please join a local MS network - it will work wonders for your mental health!
Big hugs, and best of luck to you!!!
And I fully support your right to vent loudly on DCUM.
Of course you know yourself that PPs are right, and that there is nothing to be done but fight through it, however unfair it is.
You should wean yourself off DCUM and choose another profession, because it is probably that spoiled moneyed atmosphere that throws you off.
My mother's first MS crisis (blindness, like you), occurred at 26. Luckily, hers is the slow-developing kind, and at 62 she can still walk around but not use her hands for any detailed work (writing, cooking, etc).
She was fortunate to meet my father, who supported her all her life. They were quite poor in their 20s, and we lived in a dingy studio apartment for the first 3 years of my life. Then life was good to them, mainly through my father's hard work.
You are in the significantly more difficult position of paying and caring for your own self.
Please join a local MS network - it will work wonders for your mental health!
Big hugs, and best of luck to you!!!
Anonymous
03/12/2013 15:11
Subject: I Resent People With Money
pp here, OP please look into the research showing the link that gluten has on auto-immune disorders. Try doing some food therapy to see if you feel better. Best of luck.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 15:08
Subject: Re:I Resent People With Money
Anonymous wrote:OP, you are 22. Do you think all of those people had money when they were 22? I have money now, but was absolutely broke in my early twenties when I had entry level jobs. Focus on your health and on getting yourself established in a career, which you will be able to do even with your health challenges. I work at a university with someone who has MS and one of the senior associates at my DH's law firm has MS, so don't lose hope. But, also don't drive yourself crazy comparing your life to that of people twenty years your senior. Enjoy your youth because middle age will come to you faster than you think.
This is what I was thinking when reading the post. At 22, I had just moved to DC and was living in a group house. The only thing I had in my room was a mattress on the floor and a cardboard box I was using for a table. I had two awful suits and a handful of discount clothes that I got from my job. I didn't even have hangers for them. My "savings" were $60 that I had on a top shelf in my closet. I came home one night to find that someone had broken into our house and took that money (and a plate of cookies that a well-meaning friend had left me on the porch). But, I was having the time of my life. Flash forward 20 years and I'm living in NW DC in a $1m house. Yes, I sometimes wished I had the beautifully-appointed rooms that some of my friends had then, but I didn't hate them for it.
OP, I'm sorry that you are going through a rough patch. I honestly the only way to get out of it is to remain positive and see the good in life. A short cry is good, but bitterness will get you nowhere.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 14:44
Subject: Re:I Resent People With Money
I resent people who think at the age of 22 that they have the right to judge anyone.
I resent anyone who thinks they have a clue what sacrifices I made when I was 22 to get to where I am.
I resent anyone who thinks because I have a six figure income, that my life is carefree or that I should not have any complaints.
I resent anyone who believes that they are entitled to anything.
Life is fickle, sometimes bastards are born into wealth and sometimes saints are born into poverty.
I resent anyone who thinks they have a clue what sacrifices I made when I was 22 to get to where I am.
I resent anyone who thinks because I have a six figure income, that my life is carefree or that I should not have any complaints.
I resent anyone who believes that they are entitled to anything.
Life is fickle, sometimes bastards are born into wealth and sometimes saints are born into poverty.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 14:35
Subject: I Resent People With Money
OP, I can sympathize with your situation, and I certainly agree there are some insensitive people out there who take their wealth (not just money, but good health too) for granted.
What can you do though? These people will always be in the world, and in the meantime I think you need to maintain focus on making your own life the best it can be, despite some unfair challenges in your path. Have you ever spoken to a therapist or counselor? That is one place to start. It sounds like you could be depressed, which is not uncommon when coping with chronic health problems. Hugs to you. I hope you can stay positive and don't let the turkeys get you down!
What can you do though? These people will always be in the world, and in the meantime I think you need to maintain focus on making your own life the best it can be, despite some unfair challenges in your path. Have you ever spoken to a therapist or counselor? That is one place to start. It sounds like you could be depressed, which is not uncommon when coping with chronic health problems. Hugs to you. I hope you can stay positive and don't let the turkeys get you down!
Anonymous
03/12/2013 14:26
Subject: I Resent People With Money
OP hang in there, that's huge stuff you are working on. MS is no picnic. Glad to see many PPs had it hard but doing well now. You'd think they'd really appreciate what they have now given their struggles. Maybe it doesn't work out that way though. I too have some familiarity with multiple jobs and medical setbacks in my early 20s - thanks for the wake up call to remind me to notice what I have now.
Anonymous
03/12/2013 14:23
Subject: I Resent People With Money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP if you continue to feel this way you will NEVER get out of the situation you're in. You're thinking is toxic and unproductive.
I am 47, when I was 22 I worked THREE jobs to pay my rent. Couldn't afford a bed so I slept on the floor. I saved my money, waited till I was 31 to get married. Found a great partner who shares my beliefs and who lifts me up, not drags me down. Together we have achieved a lot but in the time we NEVER felt sorry for ourselves. Stop using your health as an excuse. People with way more health issues than you have gone very far in life. Achieved a great deal financially, spiritually and personally. Try having your arms and legs blown off....
For gods sake, do you have any idea what MS is like? Do you have any idea what kind challenges she faces? I had a great friend with MS. He didn't get ill until he'd got through business school. By 27 he was in a wheel chair. It was only through his utter dedication and charisma that he was able to find a low level admin job. WITH AN MBA. And he was only able to keep it because this was in Europe and he had a great employer AND he didn't have any medical bills because healthcare was considered a right. Ultimately he was promoted, several times and ended up in a position that was suitable for his not inconsiderable talents. But remember he got his MBA before he lost the use of his legs and before he had trouble using his arms. He was an amazing person in many many ways but paticularly for having tackled his disability in the way that he did. he swam and sailed and ski-ed. But MS is a terrible disease, particularly when it strikes young. How DARE you suggest that having your arms and legs blown off is somehow worse.
My wonderful friend went from a 6'5" football player, top of his MBA class, to an independent wheelchair user, to a motorised wheel chair user, to needing voice recognition software to use a computer, to needing 24 hour care to be fed, clothed and dressed, to losing his ability to even speak. He was inspirational and I wish OP could have met him because I know he would have had encouraging words and advice. Sadly, however, he died about five years ago at the age of 41.
OP, this wasn't in the US, but I know that he found a lot of help and emotional support through disability and MS groups. They also supported him in coming to terms with his disability, finding work and finding ways to continue the life he had before by finding ways to adapt to his needs (e.g. participating in sports despite being a wheel chair user). is there anyone you can reach out to? Working multiple jobs likely won't work for you, but it doesn't mean you can't get where you want to, you just may not be able to take the traditional path or the path that you originally planned to.
See, this is the issue! In this country assholes like 13 21 will blame the victim. Oh, yeah, and healthcare in this country is also 'a priviledge'.