Reply to I am mean, unhappy and make everyone miserable

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Reply to "I am mean, unhappy and make everyone miserable"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Disagree with most of the posters.

You sound overwhelmed by "running the show" and are internalizing (mean, unhappy) an external problem (too much responsibility, inequitable division of labor).  You seem concerned that you are resentful when you are washing the dishes and DH is on the sofa.  But why wouldn't you be?  You are going to tie yourself into knots if you pretend you are not resentful.  Instead take action.  DH sounds like a not unreasonable guy.  So ask him what he'd like to take over since the responsibilty aspect seems most onerous for you. It's completely ridiculous that he can't, e.g., pay bills (presumably he did so before you met), and might be happy to do so now.  Divide chores things up more equally.  If you disagree on certain standards (i.e. you want perfection), then you outsource if you can afford, let it slide (my vote), or if your DH's objection is reasonable, you do it, and then and only then, it makes sense to let go of the anger.
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I agree with this approach. Too bad I can't fully live it, and haven't let go of the anger. I have learned to have the WTH attitude when DH complains about anything, since he does jack shit around the house and NOTHING unless I ask him to do it.  I have my own priorities, don't care about his.[/quote]

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