Reply to Everyone says that they are busy with their own lives, no time for me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I say this as nicely as possible.  And this is coming from a person who used to have a difficult time finding and making meaningful friendships.

Is there any chance you may be unknowingly doing something to turn others off?  In my case, I didn't have the best self esteem.  This turned into me almost bragging about some of my stuff and trying so hard to be "part of the group" that I inadvertently turned people off.  It took one of my only friends to point out this behavior to me.  I've really changed in the last 6  months, and DH and I are starting to have a pretty active social calendar! [/quote]

OP here.  I do think I must be doing something to turn others off.  I really do.  The problem is, I am not sure what it is, though I have a few ideas.  I have asked my DH many times about this, as he sees me in a variety of social situations and he told me he can't think of anything.  He said if he did notice something he would be honest with me.  I have also asked my college roommate about this (who lives in another state) as well as a therapist I used to go to (who had no feedback about this issue either).  Maybe it's not so much anything I'm saying, but more my appearance or body language.  I am more of a reserved person, who isn't super bubbly, but still shows a lot of interest in others and is a good conversationalist.  I think my reserved nature is one thing that turns others off, though I would not say I am a person who is hard to get to know at all.

I think the other part of it is that while I try to smile a lot to compensate for this, the natural expression of my face at rest looks slightly mad because my mouth turns slightly downward.  I've been self-conscious of this for a long time, and try to smile a lot to compensate for this, and/or keep a neutral but pleasant expression, but I think this turns others off.  In the past before I started smiling a lot to compensate, people used to ask me what was wrong a lot, even when nothing was wrong.  It was just they were interpreting my neutral expression as something being wrong.  I don't know what to do about this though.  I think people don't like me because of this.[/quote]

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